I appreciate Todd's input, but he's incorrect about a number of things. I believe he uses cookbook interpretations instead of delving below the surface but that's just my opinion and I'm no professional.
We are completely and totally in love. From doing research on the 12H and reading other posts, I believe we lucked up and the positive manifestation of the 12H resonates better with my relationship. He is very shy, reserved, and conservative, ESPECIALLY when it comes to us communicating, but he's gotten a lot better and continues to put a conscious effort in fixing his behavior.
There's no hidden element to our relationship except outsiders looking in have no idea what we're up to and since we're both pretty water dominated natally, that's perfectly fine with us.
I believe that Saturn-Neptune conjunction in our composite just allows us to stay grounded. With so much water emphasis, Saturn had to rear his ugly head somewhere but in our case, it's actually quite beneficial. We talk about EVERYTHING. There's no room for secrets, hidden agendas, etc between us. Our connection won't allow it.
As far as the 11th house goes, we are friends. Best friends actually. I feel like he is my partner in crime when we're not at each other's throats during an argument We also have tons of fun together traveling, playing games, sports, enjoying nature, etc. But the romantic interest, intensity, and feelings are still very much apparent, but he's just as much as a friend as he is a lover and it's perfect. He's NOT perfect, but that friend- lover medium IS.
Issues arise when he still tries to opperate from that Moon-Saturn square of is. He can get extremely childish and defensive during a sensitive discussion that makes him uncomfortable, but he just went through his Saturn return and Transit Saturn was JUST on top of his moon so he's progressing, growing, and learning some hard lessons along the way, but he's a trooper! I can say that.
After a bit of analysis on my part, I have come to the conclusion that our karma together has a lot to do with Mercury-Venus on both of our parts. Utter and total transformation. How did I come to this conclusion?
Pluto-Venus conjunct EXACT.
Mars-Venus opposition EXACT.
Both of our mercury-venus are unaspected.
Both of our mercury-venus are in each other's 12H.
His Venus in retrograde natally.
The 11H in our composite represents our struggles with his friends. Due to his IC being in Aquarius and his Moon in the 4th, he places his sense of security in his friends vs. his family so there were some major jealousies and anger coming from both sides because his friends just didn't want to accept that he has a girlfriend now. He tried reasoning with them and talking things out, but eventually he just placed some distance between his friends and himself for the sake of our relationship.